This year has been one of testing faith for me. I've always known a weakness when it comes to forgiving my enemies. Satan knows this and he uses this against me. He wants to shake my faith. But I have no room for Satan in my heart. The Lord resides within me and he supports me and loves me unconditionally. I find that hard to comprehend. He loved me and he loved all of you so deeply and so unconditionally that He sacrificed His beloved son to die on the cross. Jesus was scorned and torn from head to toe. From a crown of thorns, his back ripped and raw from a brutal beating-a beating to near death, to nails driven through his hands and feet. Can you imagine? This was done to save us. When I think of this, my body tingles inside. How could He love us so much?
With such unconditional love, how then can I be more like Jesus? How can I, a mere human, who has given her life to Christ, learn to be as forgiving as Jesus? He called his betrayer, Judas, a friend. He washed his feet at the last supper knowing that Judas would betray him in just a short time. Satan has been trying to chip away at me to find a vulnerability so that I might betray Jesus as well.
We brought my mother to live with us. Every day I struggle with forgiveness and with loving her unconditionally. But I pray for her and with her. The Lord sustains me. As I get closer to a new phase of my life--retirement--with no substantial savings to fall back on, I have been working hard to have full faith that God will provide for us. I know He will. So, Satan continues to attack. I told you a few weeks back that someone broke into our home while we slept and stole our television. That television was only a "thing". God protected us, his precious children. What we lost was material only. So I prayed for the salvation of the thief, that he might come to know Jesus before judgement day. It is up to God to be the judge. Satan did not win that battle.
Yesterday I realized my debit card was missing. The last time it was used was at a restaurant for lunch the day before. My heart sank. I opened my bank account online and saw someone had gone on a spending spree and zeroed out the account. The thief had purchased multiple tanks of gasoline, purchases at a carryout, purchases inside gas stations, purchases at a bar late at night, and the purchase of jewelry at an astounding cost of $1,388.00. What would we do? Shaking and terrified, I called the bank to learn that I can only dispute the charges after they post against the account. They did close the debit card so no further purchases could be made. Once I dispute the charges, it will take several weeks to determine that they are fraudelent and I will receive the funds back. I contacted the police and made a report, I contacted the restaurant and gave them details, I called the mall where the jewelry purchase was made and learned they will release video surveillance to the police. I continued to feel violated all day long. I prayed to God to keep me balanced and thanked Him for being with me. Then I realized I needed to forgive this enemy as well. How could I do that? I felt so personally violated. So, I prayed that this thief would be caught and in so doing his life of crime would be thwarted. I prayed that he would find salvation before judgement day. I haven't forgotten. But as each hour goes by, I know that I'm letting go of the anger. I went to Bible Study last night and in doing so, I received God's reassurance and grace. So many people are suffering through things I cannot imagine. My loss is temporary and is only material. God has provided a means to get through this minor fire.
He is ever loving, ever present, and ever my Father. Satan has lost another battle.
