Last night, I struggled with falling asleep. I dozed in the state where you're not deeply asleep and aware of every noise. When hubby came to bed, I heard him enter and felt him sit on his side of the mattress. Then his hand reached under the covers. He touched my leg, then withdrew his hand. Then he did it again.
"What are you looking for?" I grumbled.
"I was just feeling how warm the mattress is."
We have a latex foam mattress and when you first get under the covers, it's cold. But soon your body heat warms the mattress and it gets nice and toasty. After his comment, I rolled back over and closed my eyes. Then I heard him mutter "..such a grouch."
At that moment, I realized the truth. I had become a grouch. When I worked, people told me all the time how they enjoyed seeing my smile. What had happened to that smile? I've been sharing it with my friends, with church members, with strangers, with family...but not so much with my husband.
Our lives have changed since I retired. I've had to assume all the responsibilities of running the house, including the yard work, because of my husband's illness. Over the months, I've become...well, a grouch. It's not that I don't enjoy doing these things, but I have become impatient with my husband. He doesn't do things the way I'd like. I have to pick up after him. I have to remind him of things. And I have to repeat myself over and over again. So, I rarely share my smile and my feelings of love.
Last night I asked God to forgive me and to help me remember the important things in my life. I woke up this morning with a smile in my heart and on my face. Life is good. God is good. And, I intend to share my smile with the most important person in this house...my wonderful, loving, husband.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Hope by the Power of the Holy Spirit
Hope is found in the Bible. Romans 15:13 "May the god of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
At times we are filled with despair. During those times, some people give up. But, God would want us to turn to him, to trust him. I learned this so well during the month of December. My husband nearly died from an enlarged prostate blocking his bladder. This happened when I had already given notice to my employer that I was retiring at the end of the year. Little did we know then, that we wouldn't be able to get my husband under Part B Medicare until the middle of the following year. Faced with unsurmountable bills and no income to sustain us through the hard times to come, I refused to give up hope. I trusted God to walk with us through this time of darkness. I prayed for God's mercy, healing, and direction.
My mother had moved in with us several months prior due to her illness. My plan of retiring was to be able to care for her. Her spirits had lifted during the Christmas season, but on December 30th, my husband and my 30th wedding anniversary, God called my mother home. Dealing with her loss, and my husband's dire illness, nearly drove me to the depths of despair. But God lifted me up and walked with me through the trials. He showed me a path to gain medical assistance for my husband. He sustained me through the grief of losing my mother.
During all the pain, I knew He walked beside me, and at times He held me in His arms. And He brought us through the darkness into the light.
Hope is eternal through God's grace.
At times we are filled with despair. During those times, some people give up. But, God would want us to turn to him, to trust him. I learned this so well during the month of December. My husband nearly died from an enlarged prostate blocking his bladder. This happened when I had already given notice to my employer that I was retiring at the end of the year. Little did we know then, that we wouldn't be able to get my husband under Part B Medicare until the middle of the following year. Faced with unsurmountable bills and no income to sustain us through the hard times to come, I refused to give up hope. I trusted God to walk with us through this time of darkness. I prayed for God's mercy, healing, and direction.
My mother had moved in with us several months prior due to her illness. My plan of retiring was to be able to care for her. Her spirits had lifted during the Christmas season, but on December 30th, my husband and my 30th wedding anniversary, God called my mother home. Dealing with her loss, and my husband's dire illness, nearly drove me to the depths of despair. But God lifted me up and walked with me through the trials. He showed me a path to gain medical assistance for my husband. He sustained me through the grief of losing my mother.
During all the pain, I knew He walked beside me, and at times He held me in His arms. And He brought us through the darkness into the light.
Hope is eternal through God's grace.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Living with a Happy Spirit
Yesterday, I stopped at church to get the meeting info to add to the bulletin. I had the entire bulletin completed except for inserting these items. I walked into a full blown crisis.
The printer wasn't working. Someone forgot to get postage. Postcards needed to be in the hands of members by Saturday. Our poor ministry coordinator. She's a wonderful, cheerful, lady and I felt her tension, though she didn't reflect that onto others.
She showed me "special" paper she'd purchased for the July 4th bulletin. Yikes! I would have to seriously do some realigning to fit everything into the smaller viewing area. But, I smiled, measured the new margins and noted that on my paper. Then I moved on to the book of meetings and wrote down everything that needed added.
Next the children's ministry leader entered the room. She's lovingly known by all as "Barbie." She told me she had something to add to the announcements for the bulletin. Oh, no. Now smaller margins, I'd already had everything in place and I would have to find a way to add one more announcement. I didn't know how I'd manage, but I knew also that I would do it. So, I asked her to email me the info as quickly as possible since I was finalizing the bulletin.
She looked at me and smiled. Then she said, "It's so nice to have a bulletin coordinator who has a happy spirit."
I hadn't thought much about how others perceived me, but that comment gave me a lift.
I did finish the bulletin, with the added challenge of adding more info and fitting the entire thing into a smaller space. And, I did it with a happy spirit.
When God is in your heart, that love shines out for all to see. I'm blessed in so many ways, and I thank God for giving me a happy spirit.
God is good.
The printer wasn't working. Someone forgot to get postage. Postcards needed to be in the hands of members by Saturday. Our poor ministry coordinator. She's a wonderful, cheerful, lady and I felt her tension, though she didn't reflect that onto others.
She showed me "special" paper she'd purchased for the July 4th bulletin. Yikes! I would have to seriously do some realigning to fit everything into the smaller viewing area. But, I smiled, measured the new margins and noted that on my paper. Then I moved on to the book of meetings and wrote down everything that needed added.
Next the children's ministry leader entered the room. She's lovingly known by all as "Barbie." She told me she had something to add to the announcements for the bulletin. Oh, no. Now smaller margins, I'd already had everything in place and I would have to find a way to add one more announcement. I didn't know how I'd manage, but I knew also that I would do it. So, I asked her to email me the info as quickly as possible since I was finalizing the bulletin.
She looked at me and smiled. Then she said, "It's so nice to have a bulletin coordinator who has a happy spirit."
I hadn't thought much about how others perceived me, but that comment gave me a lift.
I did finish the bulletin, with the added challenge of adding more info and fitting the entire thing into a smaller space. And, I did it with a happy spirit.
When God is in your heart, that love shines out for all to see. I'm blessed in so many ways, and I thank God for giving me a happy spirit.
God is good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)