"Such a Grouch..."

Last night, I struggled with falling asleep. I dozed in the state where you're not deeply asleep and aware of every noise. When hubby came to bed, I heard him enter and felt him sit on his side of the mattress. Then his hand reached under the covers. He touched my leg, then withdrew his hand. Then he did it again.

"What are you looking for?" I grumbled.

"I was just feeling how warm the mattress is."

We have a latex foam mattress and when you first get under the covers, it's cold. But soon your body heat warms the mattress and it gets nice and toasty. After his comment, I rolled back over and closed my eyes. Then I heard him mutter "..such a grouch."

At that moment, I realized the truth. I had become a grouch. When I worked, people told me all the time how they enjoyed seeing my smile. What had happened to that smile? I've been sharing it with my friends, with church members, with strangers, with family...but not so much with my husband.

Our lives have changed since I retired. I've had to assume all the responsibilities of running the house, including the yard work, because of my husband's illness. Over the months, I've become...well, a grouch. It's not that I don't enjoy doing these things, but I have become impatient with my husband. He doesn't do things the way I'd like. I have to pick up after him. I have to remind him of things. And I have to repeat myself over and over again. So, I rarely share my smile and my feelings of love.

Last night I asked God to forgive me and to help me remember the important things in my life. I woke up this morning with a smile in my heart and on my face. Life is good. God is good. And, I intend to share my smile with the most important person in this house...my wonderful, loving, husband.