Mom's Memories

Last night I talked with Mom. She spent the day reminiscing. She talked about being a little girl and how her mom had been the only one who loved her unconditionally. My mother's mother died when Mom was only five years old. Her dress caught fire from a wood stove and my Mom witnessed the event. So traumatic for a young child. After her father died a year or so later, Mom was adopted by her paternal uncle and aunt. But that relationship wasn't a healthy one.

I felt sad listening to her telling her story and I could hear the sadness in her voice. But then she started talking about happier memories. Memories of how she loved my dad and how much they wanted a baby. Though they were young, 17 and 18, they married in November and the following October I was born. But there were sad memories involved in this as well. Evidently, my dad wanted to be married and have a family, but he wanted his freedom as well. Though she didn't elaborate, she said she didn't like to share, so I have to assume that he cheated on her. I never knew my dad. He died when he was 18 on a naval boat during World War II.

She told several more stories all building to happier remembrances. Then she blessed me by telling me a memory that brings her great happiness. About twelve years ago I took her to Tennessee to visit the Great Smoky Mountains. My dad didn't like to do sightseeing vacations so she had never done anything like that before. It was a fun time...just the two of us...and we shared stories, laughter, and she got to see things that left her with fond memories.

Our conversation made me realize that material things really don't matter in the big scheme of life...it is our memories that will sustain us in our final hours.

Hello, Auctioneer

My mother has already contacted the auctioneer who will take the majority of her furniture and auction it after she moves away. I'm not sad about this any longer. I know she's at peace with this and I believe she's looking at starting a new life...hopefully an easier one for her.

These are only material things.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that I will can give her some peace of mind in her final days on earth. This is going to be a big transition for all of us, but Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart" and that is what we're doing.

They Are Only Material Possessions

One of the hardest things about moving my mother here is that I feel it would be so hard to walk away from the possessions she's had in her home for so many years. Each one holds a memory. Furniture that goes back into past generations. But they are only material possessions. The memories remain. My Alpha Group helped me to realize that while my mother has made peace with her decision, I haven't.

I keep imagining how I would feel if I had to say goodbye to my home and my pets. I only hope that if this is in the future for me, that I can approach it with the dignity that my mother is doing. My mother is independent and stubborn...so am I. She will make it. So will I.

I'm now praying for God's will, and for His peace as we move closer to the merging of two households.

Changing Directions...Changing Roles

For the next couple of months, I'll be writing on this blog about my internal conflicts regarding moving my 85 year old mother from the home she's lived in for nearly fifty years into our home. The distance between us now is nearly 430 miles and a lot of buried feelings.

My mother is dying. She has a bad heart valve and made the decision not to have the operation. Two years ago, the doctor told her she shouldn't be living alone, but she wasn't ready to give up. Lately, her symptoms have increased. She is having dizzy spells, and when she lays down, the fluid builds around her heart and she has to get up because she feels like she's drowning. Despite all this, my mother would not have given up and agreed to move in with us if she hadn't run out of money.

Stubborn and independent, she has held out as long as she can. My goal is to make the transition as painless as possible for her. The hardest part for me is not allowing myself to look at the negatives--how she has to leave everything she loves behind--and to look at the positives.

Thus, begins my journey.

Whose Fault is It?

How many times have you turned to God and asked him why He let something awful happen in your life? I'm guilty.

We take credit for the things that go right in our lives. We pat ourselves on the back and puff out our chests and accept all the reassuring words that come from others. We've accomplished a great thing. And we forget all about God, who has given us the blessing. But, when the bottom falls out, we are quick to blame God.

So, how about you? Have You thanked God for your blessings lately? Or have you only turned to him in times of stress to place blame?

Prayer for today: Mericful Father, please forgive me for my sins. Thank You for all the blessings You have provided which I have taken for granted. Amen.

I Saw God Working Through Authors...

Saturday my fellow authors met for our monthly meeting. One of our members has been sending personal packages to soldiers through anysoldier.com. When we all learned of her mission, many wanted to help. On Saturday, she expected to receive a couple cans of shave gel, some wipes, and maybe some beef jerky. The outcome was fantastic. Instead of a bag full of items, her trunk was overflowing! She sat in the middle of the floor and cried at the outpouring of love from the group. I cried right along with her.

Truly, I saw God in that library meeting room. Tears on everyone's cheeks, hearts overflowing.

Thank You, Jesus, for your spirit among us.

Dressing for Success

Several years ago, my husband and I stopped attending church. It wasn't a planned event, nor did it happen overnight. We slept in one Sunday, then it became easier to find reasons we needed the extra hours church took from our life. We still believed in Jesus as our savior, we just didn't live like it. One day, we looked at each other and admitted that we were missing something in our life. That something was the association with other Christians, and the fulfillment of worship in God's house. Once we realized how we'd let God slip from our life, we started looking for a new church home.

When we walked into our current church for the first time, dressed in our Sunday finest, we were shocked at seeing an array of younger men and women in jeans, shorts, sandals, and tennis shoes! Why, wasn't that being discourteous to God? But when we saw the large attendance and heard the voices raised together to praise God, we had to admit that perhaps we had our priorities mixed up. What does God care about our external clothing? Maybe we were outwardly dressed for success, but inwardly we were very lacking.

After all, didn't Jesus walk in sandals wearing humble clothing? God doesn't care how we look. In His eyes, we all look the same, for we were created in His image.

Now, we look at dressing for success differently. It isn't about the latest trend in clothing, expensive suits and dresses...it's about allowing Jesus into your heart, into your life. When you have a personal relationship with God, then and only then, are you truly dressed for success--and ready to live an eternal life.

But...How Do We Forgive?

Jesus said we need to forgive our enemies. I believe forgiveness is one of the hardest things to deal with as a Christian. When we are outraged at injustices, outright meanness, and blatant taking of innocent lives...how can we forgive?

In my own life, I have things that I find hard to let go of. When I'm upset, I pull out the old grudges and rattle them around like worry stones. They help me justify why I'm feeling like a doormat. I can wallow in self-pity and cry "poor me." In doing so, I'm not helping my situation at all. I know that. What I need to do is pray that God will help lift these things from my soul. I need to pray and turn these things over to Him. Only then will I be able to forgive and move on.

Life is full of love and happiness, when we let go and let God.

A Story of Inspiration for All

Today on my "Inside the Writer's Mind" blog, I posted an interview in my "Live Blog Studio" with author Sharon Donovan. Sharon is a true inspiration and one of God's walking miracles.

To learn her story, please visit INSIDE THE WRITER'S MIND

The story this week that I'd like to share of God working in our everyday lives came from the reality show "The Biggest Loser." On Tuesday, the two teams were in a contest to see who could be first to fill boxes with food for those in need and load a complete truck full. Every member of the winning team would win a full year of groceries. The team that lost had a woman with five children and she really wanted the team win to help her with the costs of raising a family. The winning team had a young man in college. After winning, he told the lady with five children that he'd like to give his prize to her. What a wonderful thing to do. It was a touching moment that brought tears to my eyes, and I'm sure a lot of others.

God bless you today in all that you do.