For the next couple of months, I'll be writing on this blog about my internal conflicts regarding moving my 85 year old mother from the home she's lived in for nearly fifty years into our home. The distance between us now is nearly 430 miles and a lot of buried feelings.
My mother is dying. She has a bad heart valve and made the decision not to have the operation. Two years ago, the doctor told her she shouldn't be living alone, but she wasn't ready to give up. Lately, her symptoms have increased. She is having dizzy spells, and when she lays down, the fluid builds around her heart and she has to get up because she feels like she's drowning. Despite all this, my mother would not have given up and agreed to move in with us if she hadn't run out of money.
Stubborn and independent, she has held out as long as she can. My goal is to make the transition as painless as possible for her. The hardest part for me is not allowing myself to look at the negatives--how she has to leave everything she loves behind--and to look at the positives.
Thus, begins my journey.
