Healing Hearts with Love

Recently we moved my mother into our home. She had two furry cat babies, Maggie and Blacky. Both were elderly and Mom felt they wouldn't survive the long trip to Ohio, so she chose to leave them behind. It's hard to adopt out elderly cats, but we found a no-kill shelter and have hope that someone will open their hearts and adopt them. I know how sad she was to leave her beloved family home and her babies, but there there was no choice. She couldn't afford to keep up her home any longer. When she called with her decision, we immediately made plans to remodel and rearrange our home to accomodate her.
I'm so blessed to have her with me, and she's so much happier now with having people around her to talk to. But, I could tell how much she missed her babies. We have three cats, Charlotte, Wilbur, and Templeton (yeah, can you tell I'm a writer!). Charlotte, like most Divas, chooses the time she wants to spend with us mere humans. However, the boys are a different story. Inquisitive, and very loving, they are people cats. They sensed Mom's need for feline companionship. Wilbur sleeps with her, and when she's in her recliner watching television, he's either on the arm of the chair, in her lap, or laying on the back of the chair, swinging his big furry tail in front of her face. Templeton has been in her lap, too, but he's so much more inquisitive.
Yesterday something really cute happened. If I'd been home I would have taken a picture. He's been investigating her walker. It has a little area where you can sit things, or yourself, and a basket which she uses to keep things handy. Mom has taken over making our bed and hers. It's one thing she can do which makes her feel helpful. Anyway, yesterday Templeton jumped on the walker and was sitting on the little "chair" part. Mom got out of her chair and said, "Do you want to go for a ride? Come on, I have to make the beds." She proceeded to walk down the hall to our bedroom and Templeton just stayed on for the ride. He waited while she made that bed, then she took him into her room and, again, he just sat there watching. Finished, they both came back down the hall! Templeton now believes her walker is his domain, and quite fun, and Mom is so happy to have these furry buddies to help relieve the pain of moving.
We made a lot of changes to try and make her comfortable, but it took our cats to really lift her depression.
I love animals. Guess that's why I always include them in my books!

And Then There Were Three...

Finally, the wait is over. My mother is now here in Ohio and living with my hubby and me. Memorial Day, the day after we arrived in Illinois, eleven inches of rain fell! I've never seen such a deluge. The rain didn't help to ease my mother's distress. After including her in the decisions of what to pack and what to throw away, she seemed a little better with the process. There were a few tense moments when she "snipped" at us, and a few tears along the way, but overall a fairly smooth transition. I feared she would be tearful as we left, but she surprised me.

Now that she's here, she seems so much happier and peaceful. She doesn't have to worry about the house falling down around her, and though she says she enjoyed being alone, I know she's much happier having people to talk with. She's adjusted very well, probably much better than I have.

With her poor eyesight, things are a bit rocky. I need to follow behind her and clean up without letting her know. In many ways, it's like having a child in the house again. However, cleaning after her is a labor of love. God has blessed me, and I know He is with me and I find comfort in his supporting arms.

May God bless you richly today.

Gaining Patience with Forty Days of Love

Amazing how the Forty Days of Love helps to put the things that matter into perspective. It's much easier now for me to focus on relationships first. I'm finding more patience and in doing so peace replaces irritation. Not all the time, but I'm working on it!

Talked to Mom last night. She had another really bad day. I could hear in her voice that she felt bad. She was having trouble moving even a few feet without feeling totally out of breath and exhausted. She explains that she has a "tingly" feeling all over her body on these "bad" days.

I'm trying to put this into God's hands, but it's hard. If you read my blog, please say a prayer for my Mom.

Thanks for stopping by!

Forty Days of Love

Our bible study group is going to participate in the Forty Days of Love series. We begin the journey on Sunday. It's going to be an enlightening six weeks full of devotions geared to help us improve our relationships with others through love. I'm excited and uplifted going into this series.

It's my belief that if we could only step back and look at everyone with the heart of Jesus, the world would be a much better place. But, we humans are shallow. We are flawed. No matter how far we've fallen, though, God never gives up on us.

I'll be sharing devotions based on this Forty Days of Love on this blog beginning Monday.

On a personal note, we did find no lein on Mom's house. She should have been relieved. However, she has transferred her worry to herself. She believes there is a lein against her personally. Sometimes, her fiction is even better than what I can create. But, I'm not laughing at her. It's a deep-seated worry that troubles her and I need God's help to understand how to help her with this.

Have a blessed day!

And A Little Child Shall Lead Them...

I've been trying to cheer Mom up and make her see the positive side of moving in with us. She's accepted it, and she acknowledges that it will be all right, but perhaps it's my own feelings of sadness for her that's causing the problem.

Last night I called her and she said she'd spoken to Julie (next to youngest daughter) and Kody and C.J. (Julie's sons aged 11 and 9). Those two wonderful boys have her excited about moving here now. Their enthusiasm and loving hearts reached across the miles and created a remarkable emotional healing.

Sometimes God works miracles through those who are willing to be shepherds.

Thank God for kids.

Have You Opened the Door?

Happy belated Easter!

Yesterday was a day of rejoicing the resurrection of our Lord and Savior. A day full of thankfulness, smiles, and love. Our latest sermon series has been Extreme Makeover, focusing on the different rooms of the house and how these relate to our lives. The room on the stage yesterday was the front porch, but the door to the house had no knob on the outside. Why?

Because there is no knob on the outside of our hearts. Jesus knocks, but we have to open the door to allow Him inside.

Have you opened the door yet?

*************

I spent a few hours on the phone with my mother yesterday. Her body is going downhill fast, but her mind is still active. That's so true for all of us really. Our minds are full of dreams, ideas, and good intentions, but sometimes we let our physical body and lives interfere. Live life well. God has a purpose for each of us. Open the door.

Have a blessed day and thanks for stopping by.

Moving Right Along...and Giving Thanks

This weekend we managed to move my office from the upstairs floor to the downstairs spare bedroom. Not an easy task with a bi-level. It's that 180 angle at the bottom of the first flight of stairs that's the killer.

Now, I only have a few things to move from upstairs closet and find a spot for. I think Mom is going to like her new bedroom. It warms my heart to know I can give her a nice place to rest. And the best part is...our cats promptly jumped on the bed and took a nap. I hope they do that when she arrives. She's used to having her cats sleep with her.

Maybe they know already that she will need their comfort.

I'm putting my trust in God on this and it has been like a burden lifted from my shoulders. I chatted with Mom last night and she was enjoying the country music awards. I flipped the station and watched it while we talked. One thing that stood out was the way the award winners all thanked God for the win. Carrie Underwood thanked God first and foremost.

God is good, all the time.

Not Just a Material Thing...

I spoke with Mom again last night. Though she tried to hide the tears, I could hear them in her voice as she told me she had definitely made the decision to take her beloved sixteen year old cat, Maggie, to the animal shelter rather than bring her to our home. My mother and Maggie are inseparable, especially since Dad passed. It hurts me when I empathize by trying to imagine how I'd feel if I was all alone and had no choice but to move in with a member of my family hundreds of miles away and hand off my best friend to an animal shelter.

I keep telling myself this is her decision and I must trust in God that He will take care of this. I pray with all my heart that some kind soul will offer a loving home to Maggie where she can live out the rest of her life in comfort.

Mom's Memories

Last night I talked with Mom. She spent the day reminiscing. She talked about being a little girl and how her mom had been the only one who loved her unconditionally. My mother's mother died when Mom was only five years old. Her dress caught fire from a wood stove and my Mom witnessed the event. So traumatic for a young child. After her father died a year or so later, Mom was adopted by her paternal uncle and aunt. But that relationship wasn't a healthy one.

I felt sad listening to her telling her story and I could hear the sadness in her voice. But then she started talking about happier memories. Memories of how she loved my dad and how much they wanted a baby. Though they were young, 17 and 18, they married in November and the following October I was born. But there were sad memories involved in this as well. Evidently, my dad wanted to be married and have a family, but he wanted his freedom as well. Though she didn't elaborate, she said she didn't like to share, so I have to assume that he cheated on her. I never knew my dad. He died when he was 18 on a naval boat during World War II.

She told several more stories all building to happier remembrances. Then she blessed me by telling me a memory that brings her great happiness. About twelve years ago I took her to Tennessee to visit the Great Smoky Mountains. My dad didn't like to do sightseeing vacations so she had never done anything like that before. It was a fun time...just the two of us...and we shared stories, laughter, and she got to see things that left her with fond memories.

Our conversation made me realize that material things really don't matter in the big scheme of life...it is our memories that will sustain us in our final hours.

Hello, Auctioneer

My mother has already contacted the auctioneer who will take the majority of her furniture and auction it after she moves away. I'm not sad about this any longer. I know she's at peace with this and I believe she's looking at starting a new life...hopefully an easier one for her.

These are only material things.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that I will can give her some peace of mind in her final days on earth. This is going to be a big transition for all of us, but Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart" and that is what we're doing.

They Are Only Material Possessions

One of the hardest things about moving my mother here is that I feel it would be so hard to walk away from the possessions she's had in her home for so many years. Each one holds a memory. Furniture that goes back into past generations. But they are only material possessions. The memories remain. My Alpha Group helped me to realize that while my mother has made peace with her decision, I haven't.

I keep imagining how I would feel if I had to say goodbye to my home and my pets. I only hope that if this is in the future for me, that I can approach it with the dignity that my mother is doing. My mother is independent and stubborn...so am I. She will make it. So will I.

I'm now praying for God's will, and for His peace as we move closer to the merging of two households.

Changing Directions...Changing Roles

For the next couple of months, I'll be writing on this blog about my internal conflicts regarding moving my 85 year old mother from the home she's lived in for nearly fifty years into our home. The distance between us now is nearly 430 miles and a lot of buried feelings.

My mother is dying. She has a bad heart valve and made the decision not to have the operation. Two years ago, the doctor told her she shouldn't be living alone, but she wasn't ready to give up. Lately, her symptoms have increased. She is having dizzy spells, and when she lays down, the fluid builds around her heart and she has to get up because she feels like she's drowning. Despite all this, my mother would not have given up and agreed to move in with us if she hadn't run out of money.

Stubborn and independent, she has held out as long as she can. My goal is to make the transition as painless as possible for her. The hardest part for me is not allowing myself to look at the negatives--how she has to leave everything she loves behind--and to look at the positives.

Thus, begins my journey.