"Such a Grouch..."

Last night, I struggled with falling asleep. I dozed in the state where you're not deeply asleep and aware of every noise. When hubby came to bed, I heard him enter and felt him sit on his side of the mattress. Then his hand reached under the covers. He touched my leg, then withdrew his hand. Then he did it again.

"What are you looking for?" I grumbled.

"I was just feeling how warm the mattress is."

We have a latex foam mattress and when you first get under the covers, it's cold. But soon your body heat warms the mattress and it gets nice and toasty. After his comment, I rolled back over and closed my eyes. Then I heard him mutter "..such a grouch."

At that moment, I realized the truth. I had become a grouch. When I worked, people told me all the time how they enjoyed seeing my smile. What had happened to that smile? I've been sharing it with my friends, with church members, with strangers, with family...but not so much with my husband.

Our lives have changed since I retired. I've had to assume all the responsibilities of running the house, including the yard work, because of my husband's illness. Over the months, I've become...well, a grouch. It's not that I don't enjoy doing these things, but I have become impatient with my husband. He doesn't do things the way I'd like. I have to pick up after him. I have to remind him of things. And I have to repeat myself over and over again. So, I rarely share my smile and my feelings of love.

Last night I asked God to forgive me and to help me remember the important things in my life. I woke up this morning with a smile in my heart and on my face. Life is good. God is good. And, I intend to share my smile with the most important person in this house...my wonderful, loving, husband.

Hope by the Power of the Holy Spirit

Hope is found in the Bible. Romans 15:13 "May the god of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

At times we are filled with despair. During those times, some people give up. But, God would want us to turn to him, to trust him. I learned this so well during the month of December. My husband nearly died from an enlarged prostate blocking his bladder. This happened when I had already given notice to my employer that I was retiring at the end of the year. Little did we know then, that we wouldn't be able to get my husband under Part B Medicare until the middle of the following year. Faced with unsurmountable bills and no income to sustain us through the hard times to come, I refused to give up hope. I trusted God to walk with us through this time of darkness. I prayed for God's mercy, healing, and direction.

My mother had moved in with us several months prior due to her illness. My plan of retiring was to be able to care for her. Her spirits had lifted during the Christmas season, but on December 30th, my husband and my 30th wedding anniversary, God called my mother home. Dealing with her loss, and my husband's dire illness, nearly drove me to the depths of despair. But God lifted me up and walked with me through the trials. He showed me a path to gain medical assistance for my husband. He sustained me through the grief of losing my mother.

During all the pain, I knew He walked beside me, and at times He held me in His arms. And He brought us through the darkness into the light.

Hope is eternal through God's grace.

Living with a Happy Spirit

Yesterday, I stopped at church to get the meeting info to add to the bulletin. I had the entire bulletin completed except for inserting these items. I walked into a full blown crisis.


The printer wasn't working. Someone forgot to get postage. Postcards needed to be in the hands of members by Saturday. Our poor ministry coordinator. She's a wonderful, cheerful, lady and I felt her tension, though she didn't reflect that onto others.

She showed me "special" paper she'd purchased for the July 4th bulletin. Yikes! I would have to seriously do some realigning to fit everything into the smaller viewing area. But, I smiled, measured the new margins and noted that on my paper. Then I moved on to the book of meetings and wrote down everything that needed added.

Next the children's ministry leader entered the room. She's lovingly known by all as "Barbie." She told me she had something to add to the announcements for the bulletin. Oh, no. Now smaller margins, I'd already had everything in place and I would have to find a way to add one more announcement. I didn't know how I'd manage, but I knew also that I would do it. So, I asked her to email me the info as quickly as possible since I was finalizing the bulletin.

She looked at me and smiled. Then she said, "It's so nice to have a bulletin coordinator who has a happy spirit."

I hadn't thought much about how others perceived me, but that comment gave me a lift.

I did finish the bulletin, with the added challenge of adding more info and fitting the entire thing into a smaller space. And, I did it with a happy spirit.

When God is in your heart, that love shines out for all to see. I'm blessed in so many ways, and I thank God for giving me a happy spirit.







God is good.

God Came Knocking

When God knocks on the door of your heart and calls you to act, do not turn your back.

Since my retirement, I've found myself avoiding writing time. I find time to write blogs, post on Facebook, but when it comes to working on my manuscript, I've been finding excuses. Yesterday, I carried my laptop outside and started working on a newly developed story idea. When I stopped, I had nineteen pages completed and it felt wonderful. I've been turning my back on God's calling for me to write. Now, with prayer, I'm finding my joy of writing again.

But, God didn't stop there. He has called me to ministry within the church as well. I'm coordinating the publication of our weekly bulletin, coordinating the typing of a revised Church Staff Handbook, visiting with members who are in nursing facilities, crocheting prayer shawls and lap robes, and I'm a member of the Staff Parish Relations committee.

God has blessed my life so many times in recent months. And, He's opened doors to utilize my talents. I may be retired from one job, but I've been called to others.

Have you been listening to God's knock on your heart?

Things to Smile For

Nothing brings a smile to my face quicker than watching children at play. Perhaps it's the memories of once being young and carefree, with an active imagination. I also enjoy watching one of our outdoor feral cats, Molly, as she jumps and plays in the garden outside my office window. My office is on the lower floor of our bi-level, so the garden is at eye level when I'm sitting. She's a calico cat, so she blends perfectly with the pretty orange and yellow cone flowers. There's a beautiful rose bush and a butterfly bush as well. She sits in the garden and waits for the monarch butterflies. It's so fun to see her jumping and cavorting as the butterflies tease by staying just out of her reach. God's paintbrush created my view, and it's worth smiling about.

The Joy of Giving

When I was a child, I remember hearing "It is more blessed to give than to receive." I kind of knew what it meant, but I didn't fully appreciate the words until later in life. Now, I make prayer shawls, visit friends who are in hospitals, take friends to therapy, and volunteer for church services. But these are just little token things I'm able to do now that I don't go to work every day. But giving is so much more.

We touch other lives every single day. Sometimes we don't know what impression we've made on another. We might be viewed by a total stranger without our knowledge. What might they remember about us?

In Sunday School, we talked about how we have influenced others to follow Christ. That's a hard question to answer. Most times we won't even know. That got me to thinking about how I might appear to a total stranger as I walk through a grocery store, or pass on a street or in a car. Do they see a joyful person? Or do they see the disgruntled person who is annoyed at having to run another errand? When someone cuts me off, do they see anger? I believe it's the little things that really make the difference. Stopping to let someone into a line of traffic. Allowing the person who has only a few items to purchase move ahead of me in the line. Trying not to judge others by their inconsiderate actions and put things into perspective. I mean, after all, if someone cuts me off, what will that matter in the future? But, if I show anger, call rude names, then I've become even angrier and that remains with me, amping up my reaction to the next affront.

Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But, definitely something to pray for. It all boils down to "it's better to give than to receive." Give a smile instead of a rude gesture. The return will be so much greater.

Thanks for stopping by!

God's Garden

I'm sitting at my desk, after my morning devotionals, and when I looked out my window I was blessed to see two beautiful yellow finches flitting in the butterfly bush. They are so petite and graceful. How can I not smile?

My home office is on the lower level of our bi-level home and right outside my window is a beautiful flower garden filled with roses, coneflowers, a yellow and orange flower (I'll have to ask my hubby what the name is), hostas, and the lovely butterfly bush. God has blessed me with a lovely view. When my office was upstairs, I didn't get to enjoy the garden. Now it's at eye level. Occasionally, one of the outdoor cats walks by and peers in at me.

Sometimes we look for God's blessings in the wrong places. We look for spectacular miracles, when He gives us glimpses of His love every day. My garden is a blessng from God. His hand created the beauty in my garden. Each morning, I look out and see God's face smiling back at me.

It reminds me of the hymn, "I Come to the Garden Alone," one of my favorites. I remember signing this in church as a child, but now the words come to life when I gaze out my window each morning.

I hope you see God's smile today.